Cinderella
The Cliffs Pavilion, Southend on Sea
Saturday 12th December to Sunday 10th January 2016
The Cliffs Pavilion, Southend on Sea
Saturday 12th December to Sunday 10th January 2016
Brian Conley very kindly took some time out to have a chat with me and answer a few questions about his career. Spanning three decades, Brian has appeared in award winning West End musicals and television sitcoms, presented his own chat shows, recorded three albums and completed numerous sell out tours of the UK. Here’s what he had to say.
Me: We’ve been chatting to the other cast members.....
Brian: .....and they’ve told you how wonderful I am?
Me: Hahaha... we wanted to know how well they know you, so we gave them some of your old jokes to finish off, shall we try them?
Brian: Go on then.
Me: What do you call a green fly with no arms and legs?
Brian: A bogie
Me: What’s the difference between brussel sprouts and bogies?
Brian: Kids don’t eat brussel sprouts. This is going way back. I don’t still do this stuff, I want you to remember that!
Me: What do you call a woman athlete who blows off in your beer?
Brian: Oh! Fart in My Whitbread. God did I really do that, that’s awful, sorry.
Me: What’s the difference between a gas bill and an emu?
Brian: Oh god, how long ago were these…they can both shove their bills up their backsides!
Me: So what makes you laugh?
Brian: I love funny people. I love Tommy Cooper. I was a huge fan of Tommy when he was here. “Thank you very much”. Well I have that deep drone you see, so I do sound a little bit like him dare I say; and Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, I like funny people. Bob Monkhouse was clinically funny you know, what he said was funny. I like funny people, I like Steve Martin and Jim Carey. I love Sellers in the Clouseau films, but Tommy without a doubt - my dad used to love Tommy.
Me: Did you always want to be a comedian then because you went to drama school didn’t you?
Brian: Yeah, singing was my thing. I had a strong singing voice and the comedy was because I just kept messing about all the time. I’d be singing and messing about, I’d be cheeky and that’s what Buttons is, he's just like a cheeky little 13 year old boy.
Me: You’ve done quite a lot, you’ve done your musicals, television and you’ve presented shows as well. Do you have a favourite genre?
Brian: I enjoy it all, I really do. I mean whatever I’m doing I get bored and go 'Oh I wish I was doing some more telly , oh a wish I was doing more of this', but I think the one thing that is always sustained and I’m not just saying it, is pantomime. I really honestly enjoy the freedom of it. I love the fact that you’re not stuck in a rut. I mean it was tough when I did Barnum recently for a whole year. You are doing the same thing every night, where with pantomime you can have fun and they love you to have fun, the audience desperately want you to mess about and that’s what’s exciting, going yeah we can push it, yeah we can have some fun here.
Me: With Jolson and Barnum you’ve got quite hefty roles in that there’s that sadness element to it as well and I think people are surprised that you can do that.
Brian: They are and I’ve always got that panto image but they're surprised when you’re doing Barnum and you’re playing a character; and the same with Jolson. I think beyond a doubt, if there is one box that is definitely Brian Conley though, it’s pantomime. I really enjoy it.
Me: Was there ever a time - like a sliding doors moment - where your career could have taken a completely different path?
Brian: That’s a really good question. When I was much younger I auditioned for a rock band when I was about 20, 21 and I didn’t know what the band were or whether they’d go on but what I do know is that I never got accepted. They said “he’s just a bit too young for the band at the moment” but they really liked my voice. I always thought. “ I wonder what would have happened if I’d gone and been a rock singer or something like that.”
Me: What would you say has been the highlight of your career so far?
Brian: Well there’s been many. I recently have just done Barnum for Sir Cameron Mackintosh, so I really enjoyed that. Jolson is another big thing that really sort of turned people's heads and made them sit up and think “Oh My God, there’s a bit more to him.” I loved playing Fagin as well when I did that for Sir Cameron.
Me: You’ve got a lot of respect for Sir Cameron haven’t you?
Brian: I do, I mean he started with nothing and now he’s a millionaire and owns 8 theatres in London. He’s just one of the greatest musical theatre producers; but you know Barnum was still produced with Michael Harrison so that was exciting and I really do admire Michael, I think he’s a wonderful wonderful producer.
Me: It says a lot about you that Cameron Mackintosh actually asked you to be Barnum. You didn’t have to audition?
Brian: No, no. They just said, right I want you to do it and that’s when I didn’t sleep for some time worrying about it. Because he walks on a wire and you have to do stilt walking and you’re on all the time.
Me: And that tightrope…did you ever think of putting the old Dangerous Brian outfit on and doing it?
Brian: (laughing) I should have done shouldn’t I? Sometimes people would shout out “Go on Dangerous!”
Me: Because you had to get across the wire didn’t you?
Brian: Well, there was a Plan B where we used to get one of the guys to jump up on the other one’s shoulders and put his hand out and I would open up my jacket and say “keep looking at my face” and just go across like that - which used to get a laugh.
Me: So how many times did you have to use Plan B?
Brian: In the whole run? Probably about 10 or 15 times. Often if the stage has a rake, it means your peripheral vision's off.
Me: You strike me as the type of person who likes winding people up?
Brian: No! No! No I’m not that type, no.
Me: Really? So for instance you wouldn’t even wind your own mother up?
Brian: Oh well I agree there, that is true. You’ve seen that have you? (There’s a video of Brian and Darren Day on YouTube winding his mum up on the telephone). Well, I was doing a show with Darren Day about Neil Diamond and he was staying round my house because he was doing a venue near me; and it was my daughter who said, 'why don’t we wind up nanny and tell her that Cliff Richard is round the house'. So one thing led to another and about 10,000 people have watched it now!
Me: Did she tell you off?
Brian: Oh she hasn’t lived it down. She loves watching it and she loves playing it to her friends but you know, Darren Day does the best impression of Cliff. And Cliff I met about a year on and got him to video a little bit saying “I’m so sorry about your son, Pauline.”
Me: Let’s go back to Christmas. What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever had?
Brian: My wife bought me - and I’ll be using it down here - a fold up bike that fits in the boot and when I was doing Barnum it really comes in handy when you’re staying in a hotel and it’s just a bit far and you normally get a cab, I just get on my little bike and then I just fold it all up at the other end.
Me: Can you tell us a secret about yourself?
Brian: When I was doing the Barnum tour I got two more tattoos . I have CCC on this one, (points to his right arm) “Cool Calm and Collected” which is everything I’m not and I have my daughters' names on this one, Amy and Lucy, and a little four leaf clover 'cos I’m lucky to have two beautiful daughters. So that’s my secret. I’ve obviously got better ones than that but I’m not going to tell you!
Me: So what’s the most showbizzy thing that’s ever happened to you?
Brian: When I was in Jolson, I did have the company manager come in and say that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman wanted to meet me. I said “Tell them I’m busy.” No I didn’t. I said “alright” and they came to see Jolson and I met Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. I was surprised how little he was but he was a very charming man. That was about 18 years ago.
Me: You’ve played at lots of great theatres, including the London Palladium?
Brian: Yeah I played Caractacus Potts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang there so I really love the Palladium.
Me: So what’s your favourite venue?
Brian: Cliffs Pavilion, Southend.
Brian: .....and they’ve told you how wonderful I am?
Me: Hahaha... we wanted to know how well they know you, so we gave them some of your old jokes to finish off, shall we try them?
Brian: Go on then.
Me: What do you call a green fly with no arms and legs?
Brian: A bogie
Me: What’s the difference between brussel sprouts and bogies?
Brian: Kids don’t eat brussel sprouts. This is going way back. I don’t still do this stuff, I want you to remember that!
Me: What do you call a woman athlete who blows off in your beer?
Brian: Oh! Fart in My Whitbread. God did I really do that, that’s awful, sorry.
Me: What’s the difference between a gas bill and an emu?
Brian: Oh god, how long ago were these…they can both shove their bills up their backsides!
Me: So what makes you laugh?
Brian: I love funny people. I love Tommy Cooper. I was a huge fan of Tommy when he was here. “Thank you very much”. Well I have that deep drone you see, so I do sound a little bit like him dare I say; and Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, I like funny people. Bob Monkhouse was clinically funny you know, what he said was funny. I like funny people, I like Steve Martin and Jim Carey. I love Sellers in the Clouseau films, but Tommy without a doubt - my dad used to love Tommy.
Me: Did you always want to be a comedian then because you went to drama school didn’t you?
Brian: Yeah, singing was my thing. I had a strong singing voice and the comedy was because I just kept messing about all the time. I’d be singing and messing about, I’d be cheeky and that’s what Buttons is, he's just like a cheeky little 13 year old boy.
Me: You’ve done quite a lot, you’ve done your musicals, television and you’ve presented shows as well. Do you have a favourite genre?
Brian: I enjoy it all, I really do. I mean whatever I’m doing I get bored and go 'Oh I wish I was doing some more telly , oh a wish I was doing more of this', but I think the one thing that is always sustained and I’m not just saying it, is pantomime. I really honestly enjoy the freedom of it. I love the fact that you’re not stuck in a rut. I mean it was tough when I did Barnum recently for a whole year. You are doing the same thing every night, where with pantomime you can have fun and they love you to have fun, the audience desperately want you to mess about and that’s what’s exciting, going yeah we can push it, yeah we can have some fun here.
Me: With Jolson and Barnum you’ve got quite hefty roles in that there’s that sadness element to it as well and I think people are surprised that you can do that.
Brian: They are and I’ve always got that panto image but they're surprised when you’re doing Barnum and you’re playing a character; and the same with Jolson. I think beyond a doubt, if there is one box that is definitely Brian Conley though, it’s pantomime. I really enjoy it.
Me: Was there ever a time - like a sliding doors moment - where your career could have taken a completely different path?
Brian: That’s a really good question. When I was much younger I auditioned for a rock band when I was about 20, 21 and I didn’t know what the band were or whether they’d go on but what I do know is that I never got accepted. They said “he’s just a bit too young for the band at the moment” but they really liked my voice. I always thought. “ I wonder what would have happened if I’d gone and been a rock singer or something like that.”
Me: What would you say has been the highlight of your career so far?
Brian: Well there’s been many. I recently have just done Barnum for Sir Cameron Mackintosh, so I really enjoyed that. Jolson is another big thing that really sort of turned people's heads and made them sit up and think “Oh My God, there’s a bit more to him.” I loved playing Fagin as well when I did that for Sir Cameron.
Me: You’ve got a lot of respect for Sir Cameron haven’t you?
Brian: I do, I mean he started with nothing and now he’s a millionaire and owns 8 theatres in London. He’s just one of the greatest musical theatre producers; but you know Barnum was still produced with Michael Harrison so that was exciting and I really do admire Michael, I think he’s a wonderful wonderful producer.
Me: It says a lot about you that Cameron Mackintosh actually asked you to be Barnum. You didn’t have to audition?
Brian: No, no. They just said, right I want you to do it and that’s when I didn’t sleep for some time worrying about it. Because he walks on a wire and you have to do stilt walking and you’re on all the time.
Me: And that tightrope…did you ever think of putting the old Dangerous Brian outfit on and doing it?
Brian: (laughing) I should have done shouldn’t I? Sometimes people would shout out “Go on Dangerous!”
Me: Because you had to get across the wire didn’t you?
Brian: Well, there was a Plan B where we used to get one of the guys to jump up on the other one’s shoulders and put his hand out and I would open up my jacket and say “keep looking at my face” and just go across like that - which used to get a laugh.
Me: So how many times did you have to use Plan B?
Brian: In the whole run? Probably about 10 or 15 times. Often if the stage has a rake, it means your peripheral vision's off.
Me: You strike me as the type of person who likes winding people up?
Brian: No! No! No I’m not that type, no.
Me: Really? So for instance you wouldn’t even wind your own mother up?
Brian: Oh well I agree there, that is true. You’ve seen that have you? (There’s a video of Brian and Darren Day on YouTube winding his mum up on the telephone). Well, I was doing a show with Darren Day about Neil Diamond and he was staying round my house because he was doing a venue near me; and it was my daughter who said, 'why don’t we wind up nanny and tell her that Cliff Richard is round the house'. So one thing led to another and about 10,000 people have watched it now!
Me: Did she tell you off?
Brian: Oh she hasn’t lived it down. She loves watching it and she loves playing it to her friends but you know, Darren Day does the best impression of Cliff. And Cliff I met about a year on and got him to video a little bit saying “I’m so sorry about your son, Pauline.”
Me: Let’s go back to Christmas. What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever had?
Brian: My wife bought me - and I’ll be using it down here - a fold up bike that fits in the boot and when I was doing Barnum it really comes in handy when you’re staying in a hotel and it’s just a bit far and you normally get a cab, I just get on my little bike and then I just fold it all up at the other end.
Me: Can you tell us a secret about yourself?
Brian: When I was doing the Barnum tour I got two more tattoos . I have CCC on this one, (points to his right arm) “Cool Calm and Collected” which is everything I’m not and I have my daughters' names on this one, Amy and Lucy, and a little four leaf clover 'cos I’m lucky to have two beautiful daughters. So that’s my secret. I’ve obviously got better ones than that but I’m not going to tell you!
Me: So what’s the most showbizzy thing that’s ever happened to you?
Brian: When I was in Jolson, I did have the company manager come in and say that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman wanted to meet me. I said “Tell them I’m busy.” No I didn’t. I said “alright” and they came to see Jolson and I met Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. I was surprised how little he was but he was a very charming man. That was about 18 years ago.
Me: You’ve played at lots of great theatres, including the London Palladium?
Brian: Yeah I played Caractacus Potts in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang there so I really love the Palladium.
Me: So what’s your favourite venue?
Brian: Cliffs Pavilion, Southend.
And so, after posing with us for a couple of photos, off he goes. Probably one of the nicest people in showbiz and an absolute pleasure and priviledge to meet.
We look forward to seeing Brian and the rest of the cast in Cinderella this Christmas season at The Cliffs Pavilion and watch this space for more in depth interviews with Cinderella, The Ugly Sisters and Producer, Michael Harrison, coming very soon!
We look forward to seeing Brian and the rest of the cast in Cinderella this Christmas season at The Cliffs Pavilion and watch this space for more in depth interviews with Cinderella, The Ugly Sisters and Producer, Michael Harrison, coming very soon!
Here's the full length interview with Brian - with a certain cameraman not being able to resist chipping in.......